Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
