So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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