she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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