Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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