I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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