I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
