careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
