Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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