walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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