I like my sex mixed with concussions.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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