is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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