I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
