don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
