"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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