who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
