I am spending my child support on dildos
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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