The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
