booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
