The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
