he wants to bone in the snuggie
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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