definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
