I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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