you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
