I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
