I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
