I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
