she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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