Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
