he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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