Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Even my vagina gasped.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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