Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
