Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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