If i come over, it means nothing
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
