i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
