i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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