im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
a search helicopter?!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
