my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
