So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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