if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
