So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
