You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
