they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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