he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
