I'm eating all of the evidence.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
