Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
