I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I could fuck to npr.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
