i was born a porn star she said
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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