theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
