Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
