Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
