Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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